Beyond the Screen: Real-Life Ways to Forge Friendships in the PNW

I won’t go so far as to pull out the tired, whiny phrase, “Adulting is hard.” I owe myself better. I owe you better.

I will, however, state that being an adult IS a constant challenge, a balancing act. We’re all trying to pay bills, get enough sleep, get in our steps, drink enough water, unpack and heal generational trauma, eat a balanced diet despite rising food costs, meditate, research where our food is coming from, keep up with the turmoil all over the world, and somehow find time for romance and friendships.

It’s easy in high school and college, because we are provided with friendships of convenience. We’re surrounded by peers with proximity, as well as a shared experience and a shared lifestyle. When we’re tossed out into the world in our late teens or twenties, life gets a little more complicated, and friendships get a little less convenient.

It can feel absolutely daunting to make friendships, much less maintain authentic, intimate relationships that feed us and provide the support we need to weather the challenges of modern life. Add in transformations, lifestyle changes, and relocation, and you have the perfect storm for feeling isolated and overwhelmed. 

I recently posed this question to my Instagram fam: how do you make friends as an adult? I wish I could say that I was surprised by the answers that ranged from “ohmygod HOWWWWW?” to “Please share, because this is so hard!” As always, I GOTCHU. I set out on a quest to compile resources for making friends as an adult in the Pacific Northwest and I’m thrilled with what I found. 

Groups to Help You Make Friends in the Pacific Northwest

There are some beautiful groups offering coordinated events in the area. Here are my favorites!

Auntie’s Book Clubs

If you’re a bookworm looking to meet others like you, or if you have a passion for knowledge like I do and would like to harness this passion to make friends, a book club is the perfect way to find your community! I got the inside scoop on Auntie’s book clubs from Andrea Swanson and Teri Ness, events coordinator and leader of the Science and Nature book club. 

1. Tell me a bit about Auntie’s Book Clubs and how they came to be!

We have several book clubs and they came to be because staff members were eager to discuss what they were reading. Our groups feature a variety of genres. Some groups have been going for over a decade, while others are newer. Our events coordinator is always trying to get the staff to start new ones! Some are more general, reading both fiction and non-fiction, while others are more specific like Science & Nature, Queer & Weird, and Mystery/Thriller. Some meet in-person, and some are virtual.

2. Who are your book clubs meant to serve? Who is your target demographic?

Anyone in Spokane and the surrounding area! We don’t censor what we read; anyone of any age is welcome to attend.

3. What is the driving purpose of your book clubs?

We just love reading and talking about books. It is nice to meet people with similar interests, and it gives us a common topic to talk about. Talking about a book can sometimes make you love it even more. Teri, one of our group leaders, says it’s also “motivation to read all the science and nature books I’ve been wanting to read!”

4. What’s the best way to get involved with the Auntie’s Books community?

Our book clubs and other events are always listed on the calendar on our website. Contact information for leaders of each group is online as well if people have specific questions about individual groups. All our book clubs are drop-in groups. There is no need to sign up, and you are not obligated to attend every meeting. Information about joining virtual groups can be found on their individual pages.  

5. What can folks expect when they join a book club with Auntie’s Books?

They are low-stakes, relaxed and welcoming groups, varying in size. We’d love to see you even if you didn’t finish the book! It’s a safe space to gather, chat about books, exchange ideas and perspectives, and find belonging.

Ness Halls, leader of the Queer and Weird book club, added that “I wanted to create a safe, fun space for queer people to nerd out. A lot of us grew up without ever seeing ourselves in the media we consume, or only seeing coded shadows of our truths buried in subtext. Now, I want to celebrate those truths with good, weird books, and even better company.”

Blossoming Besties

I first met Nahiely Heredia at a shoot for a local boutique, and I was instantly drawn to her. It wasn’t because she absolutely GLOWS from the inside out, but it was because when she smiles, she does so with her entire self and because she is disarmingly down-to-earth, humble, and has an infectious laugh.

I found it even easier than usual to pretend to be friends, laughing and smiling in matching sweaters. As we did so, she told me about her newest project with her own real-life bestie, Kiara Segura, I was immediately thrilled to know that this consummate best friend is spreading the love beyond her inner circle. I picked the brains of Nahiely and Kiara to learn even more about Blossoming Besties and how you all can get involved!

1. Tell me a bit about Blossoming Besties and how it came to be! 

Blossoming Besties is about two besties focused on helping women heal parts of our inner Chiquitas one podcast episode and social event at a time. We want people to feel a sense of community when they listen to our stories and the things that we’ve gone through. Then, we bring those conversations to life by hosting events connected to our episodes where we can talk about real issues, connect on a deeper level, and add value and connection to not just women of color but women as a whole.

It’s like when you listen to a podcast and you wish you could tell the host your thoughts, well with Blossoming Besties, you can. We empower and encourage open conversation and dialogue to help build connection and relatability because, at the end of the day, we’re all just doing little things that we can to try and help heal our inner child, and sometimes, all that means is having a friend. 

2. Who is Blossoming Besties meant to serve? Who is your target demographic?

We created Blossoming Besties to relate to, and connect with people of color, however, Blossoming Besties is for everybody. Spokane is growing in diversity but we just felt that there is a long way to go for many people of color to feel connected. We want to create a safe space for anyone who feels under represented. 

3. What is the driving purpose of Blossoming Besties?

In college, we were both in sororities and felt we had found our home. We supported each other through different events because we were all about empowering one another and cheering each other on. While we both found sisterhood in different organizations, we could co-exist without tearing each other down.

And while we still have lifelong sisterhood, after we became moms, we realized that as adults out of college- relationships and friendships all change. Our driving purpose is simply to connect with women and create a safe space where we can do things that heal our hearts, and make us happy. Whether that’s creating vision boards or having a sleepover with a bestie, it’s the little things in life that help us heal parts of ourselves and help us blossom to the best version of who we are today.

4. What’s the best way to get involved with Blossoming Besties? 

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @blossoming.besties and of course Spotify Podcasts – Blossoming Besties. 

5. What can folks expect when they get involved with Blossoming Besties? 

We talk about lighthearted topics, things that matter, and fun chatter. We’ve already connected with other people of color who appreciate the space we hold. While we’ve already connected with a few, we can’t wait to connect with more. And like we always say, let’s blossom together.

Friends After 40

Angela Low is proving that life does not end after 40, but it is full of fun, friends and learning! The owner of Swank Boutique saw a need for connection and met it with this dynamic resource! I got all of the details from Angela and am thrilled to share!

1. Tell me a bit about Friends After 40 and how it came to be!

I came up with the idea after seeing women on social media talking about the issues with getting older. A lot of those issues dealt with menopause, and I didn’t want just to address that.  I wanted to give women a safe space to meet other like-minded women and make connections while learning something new!  My sister told me that she has made the majority of her friends through me, and I view myself as a connector, so I thought, why not take it to the next level?

2. Who is Friends After 40 designed to serve? Who is its target demographic?

We are designed for women after the age of 40, the women may be: empty nesters figuring out what to do with their free time and the kids being gone, they may be divorced/widowed and looking for a new social group, they could be thinking about starting a new business and don’t know where to start or maybe need connections or they simply could be women who just like to interact with others and learn new things.

3. What is the driving purpose of Friends After 40?

I want to bring women together monthly to talk about different topics. I will bring in financial planners, dating experts, health professionals and more to help educate women and discuss topics other than menopause. 

I love connecting people and have always had a passion for it.  I am the one who brings our group of hockey moms together every year and keeps us all connected.  We all grew up watching our kids play hockey and I have known some of these women for 20 years! 

I felt it was important that we still have that connection and knew that if someone didn’t take charge, these get togethers would never happen. I feel like social media can be so isolating at times and wanted a place for women to make in person connections and know that they are not alone and they do not need to feel invisible!  We also have a monthly book club.

4. How can our readers get involved with Friends After 40?

We are just getting our website up and running, but we can be found at Friends at 40 and also on social media at friendsafter40 (Facebook and IG).  And of course, they can attend an event and see what we are all about!

5. What can folks expect when they attend a Friends After 40 event?

They can expect to have fun, make new connections, and learn something new!  I am just getting started but I see big things happening for this group!  Besides the monthly events and book club, I would love to have an annual retreat and put together some travel groups.  I love to travel and to share my passion with others would be amazing!  

Diversion Events

I stopped drinking about 2 years ago. While it did wonders for my health (both mental and physical), it did not do wonders for my social life. I lost some friends and noticed fewer invitations to wild nights out, boozy brunches, and boat days.

To be fair, I get it. I still think I’m fun and engaging, but I relate to folks differently, and I handle myself differently. I found myself missing the bubbly fun of nights out and wondered if others felt the same way. In January of 2024, my friend Christine and I decided to do something about this and started a non-alcoholic nightlife series called Diversion Events.

Obviously, I am biased here, as I am a co-founder. I sat down with Christine Burns-Harrison, Co-founder of Diversion Events, and we put our heads together to answer these questions so that you all can decide if it’s something you might enjoy!

1. Tell me a bit about Diversion Events and how it came to be! 

Diversion Events is an alcohol-free nightlife series. We had seen the concept work in larger cities and decided, why not here and why not now? We know Dry January is kind of a gateway trend for people testing out sobriety, and we decided January 2024 would be the perfect time to launch.

2. Who is Diversion Events designed to serve? Who is its target demographic?

Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, sober for today, or simply an outside-the-box thinker looking for community and festivity sans booze, WE GOT YOU. 

It seems like the obvious answer to who we’re designed to serve would be anyone who is sober, right? But truly, we’re here to serve anyone who is interested in an evening off from alcohol. This includes the sober, of course, the sober-curious, the California sober, the weekday sober, and those who want a night out where drinking isn’t the default. However, it’s also the people close to them. It’s the partners and friends of those who are sober. It’s pregnant women who aren’t able to drink. It’s people who care about wellness, health, and biohacking.

3. What is the driving purpose of Diversion Events?

We aim to redefine and rebel against social norms surrounding fun and socializing and alcohol by creating a space where the decision not to drink (whether it be for one night, one month, or a lifetime), is normalized. In other words, we simply wish to provide an alternative, a diversion, if you will, to the typical night out.

4. How can our readers get involved with Diversion Events?

In the words of Rihanna, “Tell your friends to pull up.” Just kidding. Come to our events and bring your friends! 

You can keep up with us on Instagram at @diversion_events

5. What can folks expect when they attend a Diversion event?

Diversion Events are intentionally dry and effortlessly edgy. We do not seek to replicate conventional social scenes but to fill a gap with something completely new. We curate a high-end atmosphere, complete with high vibes, quality beverages, and enthralling entertainment. 

The words “dry event” may conjure up horrifying pictures of church basements, multi-purpose rooms, and cramped family rooms with bad coffee, and stale donuts–all soaked in the awkward energy of reluctant sobriety. In today’s culture, it seems your choices are THAT or the classic bar or club scene that is sexier, shinier, and lubricated by booze.

We rebel against and divert from the norm, creating something new. Imagine a night out or a Sunday brunch where vibes are high, your body is honored, and your buzz is achieved through atmosphere and authentic connections. 

You can expect a swanky club experience with all of the dancing and indulging but none of the sloppiness, stickiness (from spilled drinks), or hangover the next day. We also infuse some upgrades like flash tattoos, a photo booth for capturing memories, and more. Our event pop-ups change location and we’re always incorporating fun DJ’s, artists, and entertainment, so keep an eye on our insta @diversion_events to see our next event!

Group Fitness to Help You Make Friends in the Pacific Northwest

When I first moved from the midwest to northern Idaho, I found a community in group fitness. It’s really the perfect way to make friends. By incorporating a regular fitness routine, I unwittingly found myself making friends. I saw the same group of people several times weekly who prioritized their health and lived close to me. Some of my best friends were made when we sweat side-by-side.

There is a cacophony of brilliant group fitness options in the area. I’ve previously covered my favorite pilates and yoga/meditation classes and invite you to check those out: Best Pilates Studios in the Inland Northwest and Best Mindfulness Resources in Spokane and Coeur d’Alene! Here are some of my other favorite group fitness opportunities.

Rachel Rowley Fitness

I have distinct memories of regularly waking at 4 am to schlep from Coeur d’Alene to Spokane with my girlfriends just to take Rachel Rowley’s cycling classes. Her authenticity, charisma, passion, and unique ability to motivate packed her early morning classes and have caused her to have a cult-like following no matter where and in what modality she is coaching. At 45, she is the greatest testament to her methods. She offers personal and group training sessions, which are an ideal way to get connected to like-minded friends!

1. Tell me a bit about Rachel Rowley Fitness and how it came to be! 

Rachel Rowley Fitness started with nutrition, where I wrote meal plans and educated groups of women, and my main focus was to take the magic out of weight gain and loss.

2. Who is Rachel Rowley Fitness meant to serve? Who is your target demographic? 

Women, however most of my clients are in their 30s and up.  They don’t mind investing in their health.  They are coachable, willing to learn, desire to be strong and put in work, and accountability is big with me. 

3. What is the driving purpose of Rachel Rowley Fitness?

To empower women. To embrace strength. To build a community of women who are open, real and always in conversation on how we are working at being the best version of ourselves in this life in ALL ways, and most important, being able to cheer each other on. 

4. What’s the best way to get involved with Rachel Rowley Fitness?

Now, I offer virtual coaching on my app as well as Personal Training in the studio, and they can visit my website or check out my workout style and results from clients on my Instagram, RachelAnnRowley. 

5. What can folks expect when they work with Rachel Rowley Fitness?

A safe place to grow. Accountability, honesty (I am fairly direct), Community and Commitment.

Amanda Wilson, Trainer

I started training with Amanda Wilson about two years ago. She has been a pivotal part of my healing journey. I’ve been outspoken about how she took me on, helped me start learning to lift, and helped me to start gaining the muscle my body so badly needed.

A less expected benefit of training with her is the connections made. She offers group sessions where you can either join a friend or be matched with someone of a similar fitness level and with a similar schedule. It’s a brilliant way to stay active and connected. 

1. Tell me a bit about your training program and how you decided to become a trainer!

I became a trainer through a combination of my early love for working out and the positive impact it had on my own life. Starting at a young age, I discovered a passion for fitness and witnessed firsthand the benefits it brought. As the years went by, people began noticing the changes in my body and approached me for advice on workout programs. This sparked my interest in researching and learning more about training, becoming an obsession of mine.

One area that particularly excited and motivated me was growing the glutes. I saw how training enhanced my performance in sports and improved my daily life. This passion ultimately led me to pursue a career as a trainer, where I could share my knowledge and help others achieve their fitness goals.

2. Who is your training meant to serve? Who is your target demographic?

While I am often referred to as the “glute queen” due to my passion for working the glutes and lower body, my training approach extends beyond just that. My training is meant to serve many individuals, as strong glutes are important for everyone, especially as we age. While I don’t specifically target a particular age group, I believe that the benefits of strong glutes extend to people of all ages. The glutes, being the largest muscle in the body, play a crucial role in various movements such as running, walking, getting up from a chair, and lifting objects.

Weak glutes can even lead to back pain. Therefore, my training aims to help individuals of all backgrounds and ages improve their glute strength and overall functionality. It’s important to note that the focus on glutes goes beyond just aesthetics, as a strong and functional posterior chain is essential for optimal health and performance. After all, you rarely hear someone bragging about having a small or flat butt.

3. What is the goal of your training?

The goal of my training is to empower and uplift every woman I work with. While I do take into consideration the individual goals of my clients, the majority seek me out for my specific niche and training style. My ultimate aim is to instill confidence in each woman, both physically and mentally. I want them to feel strong and capable, enabling them to effortlessly perform daily activities without strain or difficulty.

It brings me immense joy when I receive feedback from clients, such as one who shared that she could now carry a bag of dog food into her house without relying on her husband. These small victories are significant accomplishments in my eyes. Additionally, I strive to help women feel confident and proud of their bodies. I believe in shifting their mindset to embrace self-love and positivity, encouraging them to speak kind and uplifting words about themselves and take pride in their hard work.

4. What’s the best way to get involved with you as a trainer?

Getting involved with me as a trainer is easy and straightforward. If you’re interested in working with me, simply contact Fuel Fitness in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho where I am an independent contracted trainer and provide your information to the front desk staff. They will be able to assist you in getting started by passing along your information to me. Alternatively, you can also contact me via email ([email protected]) or through social media (@amanda.wilsonnn). While Instagram messages may take me a bit longer to respond to, it is still a viable option. Whichever method you choose, rest assured that I am excited to connect with you and help you achieve your fitness goals.

5. What can folks expect when they work with you?

When working with me, clients can expect a comprehensive and engaging experience. I prioritize proper form, as it directly impacts which muscles are effectively engaged during exercises. I am intentional about every exercise and repetition, ensuring that clients are not simply going through the motions, but truly challenging themselves.

While I communicate the rep range we aim for, I am not afraid to push clients further if I recognize that they are capable of doing more. I am hands-on with all my clients, providing constant guidance and support throughout the entire session. I am fully engaged and committed to their progress and success. Moreover, I believe in creating a fun and enjoyable atmosphere during our workouts. We challenge ourselves while also finding joy in the process. Working with me means experiencing a dynamic and effective training session that is both results-driven and enjoyable.

The Union

When I think group fitness in Spokane, I think of the Union. It is iconic for its fun take on group fitness and offers something for everyone: spin, TRX, yoga, and total body conditioning. I talked to the owner, Alicia Newman, to get all of the details for you. 

1. Tell me a bit about The Union and how it came to be!

The Union just celebrated 10 years! Nick Murto and Tyler Lafferty started the gym in 2014 to shake up the norms in group fitness in the Spokane community. My love for spin morphed into me becoming an owner in 2023, and I had previously worked for Nick and Tyler at Method Juice Cafe. It was truly meant to be!

I found a passion for spin after having my twin daughters in 2021, and once it came for sale, I just knew it was right. When I purchased the business, I wanted to maintain the originality of the Union while continuing to expand what we have to offer to more individuals.

2. Who is The Union meant to serve? Who is your target demographic?

The Union is for everyone!! We offer spin, yoga, TRX, and total body conditioning. Our group fitness instructors are trained to work with all individuals at all skill levels.

3. What is the driving purpose of The Union?

Our mission is: As a unified team we are committed to creating an inclusive, connected community so that every athlete feels supported and encouraged in their fitness journey. We want every athlete to feel seen and supported. Whether you are a seasoned athlete, this is your first group fitness class, or you’re somewhere in between, we are for YOU!!

4. What’s the best way to get involved with The Union?

Check out our website here. Follow our Instagram and Facebook for updates and specials: @thisistheunion. Call our studios:

• Northside 7704 N Divison Street – 509-474-9483
• West (Downtown) 1309 W 1st Avenue – 509-838-7625

5. What can folks expect when they attend a class at The Union?

Get ready for a great time!! We’ll get sweaty, loud and make you smile! First class is always FREE to Spokane residents. Just try it, we know you’ll love it!

Building Your Pacific Northwest Circle: Fun and Unique Ways to Meet New People

I hope that, in laying our cards on the table, admitting that making friends in adulthood is a bit rough, and exploring some unique ways to connect authentically with like-minded folks, you feel empowered and ready to make some connections! Let’s all put ourselves out there, feel a little awkward, try something new, and hopefully make a few friends while we’re at it!

If you see me at any of the above events or around town, please come say “hi”! I’m always game for new friends.

xoxo Your Favorite Late Bloomer