All Tied Up This Holiday Season: Spicing Up the Season with Your Partner

Like many others, Mister Stina Rae (a.k.a. “The Man”) and I lead extremely busy lives running Atomic Threads Boutique, The Bombshell Revue and Haus Of Debauchery

This busy life can lead to couples not having enough time for one another, many drifting apart. 

We are an openly kinky, polyamorous couple with a blended family of three kids. 

Along the way in our relationship, we have learned that it takes intentional time, energy, effort, active listening and communication to succeed.

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When possible, our family thrives on experience-based road trips and traveling. 

The Gum Wall, Pikes Place Market 

The Man and I travel especially well together, and thrive on visiting and exploring many different things with a niche-interest, including the kink and alternative varieties (this is our happy place).  

Traveling takes us away from our responsibilities and opens up the space for endless conversations. 

When we hit the road in October for what we had originally planned to be a spooky family adventures, it pivoted into an adult-weekend escape due to COVID exposures. 

We headed to Mt. Vernon to explore the Northern State Recreational Area and all of the abandoned buildings. 

As we went through Stevens Pass, we drove through the smoky areas from active fires we didn’t know existed, until we were in it. I chose to doze off to avoid the impending migraine from the smoke. It wasn’t until I felt the car stop and my seatbelt unbuckled that I knew something was awry. 

I opened my eyes to see the biggest smirk on The Man’s face as he grabbed a blanket for our first round of roadside shenanigans. 

The Man knows I like a good view and he did not disappoint: Moss covered rocks all around the babbling brook that wound below the one-lane bridge where we parked for our morning delight. 

As we made our way back to the main road, he showed me the reason he chose this closed road: Discretion, as half of the pavement was washed away from a landslide before. Nothing like a little danger to add a dash of danger to our sexy shenanigans.

Back onto the main road we went! When we finally made it to the Northern State Recreation Area, we were both ridiculously excited to go adventuring through the buildings. We were cackling and finding sheer joy in the smallest of coincidences and moments. 

It was the perfect mixture of acting on the most random of whims and seizing sexy-time moments when opportunities arose simply because we could. 

It brought back feelings of when we first started traveling together at the very beginning of our relationship, and gave space for reflections on our growth on so many levels. We felt so in sync. 

When the conversations turned to harder subjects, we found ourselves actively working on how we spoke to each other, being very aware of tones and phrasing. We were able to talk about the hard spots and praise each other on our growth, and then began talking about everything from parenting, business, goals and relationships. 

Taking ourselves out of the everyday hustle helps us reconnect with, not just each other, but ourselves as well. 

Our Airbnb at Otter Pond Hideaway, was the perfect space for us to unwind. It would have been great as a family trip but as an adult trip it provided the perfect space for us to use as we felt inspired. 

The Man began setting up for the scene he had been planning for me. I heard him begin playing the new playlist I had put together on the drive over. It’s one that screams sensual and downright primal. 

He walked out to the house’s hot tub carrying two hanks of rope and I caught a glimpse of the implements he had laid out in the bedroom. We spent the next couple of hours pushing limits and losing ourselves in all of the sensations and each other. 

Then, in the morning, I returned the favor by creating a scene at sunrise specifically including elements of what I knew he had been desiring. I was excited for the chance to use rope in a more primal and connective way, paired with sensory deprivation as a way to explore new headspaces.

 We both went into this weekend wanting to give each other the space where we would feel seen and heard.

Once back on the road headed to Seattle, we were back to exploring music, which is how we got off on the wrong exit, but then, because of this, we stumbled upon a sign advertising a Haunted Morgue happening that night.

We instantly jumped to get tickets, then we were off to explore Pikes Place Market, smelling all of the bouquets of flowers. 

Then it was off to our favorite adult shop on Capitol Hill, Dog House Leather, which is hands down, one of my favorite, most gender-affirming-adult stores I’ve been in. 

Northern State Recreation Area

It was a day of reminiscing, flirting and teasing, and aimlessly wandering to our hearts content.

Then we were off to check into our Airbnb townhouse that had rooftop access, which we utilized almost instantly before we were off for spooky shenanigans. 

The Haunted Morgue, Dark Maze and Five Minute Escape Room were spectacular and full of cackling laughter, the discovery of new kinks and, after shopping at Dog House Leather, we were primed for whatever the night brought on.

In the morning, we celebrated The Man’s birthday with rooftop snuggles at dawn, the longest hot shower, where we splayed out and drank our cup of coffee, then the most sensual rope scene spontaneously unfolded. 

Rope has never been something either of us used to reach for, but as we have evolved over time, so has our play and the way that we connect to each other. 

Once we were on the road and headed home, we were back to having all of the conversations, the comfortable silences and of course the roadside shenanigans along the way. 

That weekend adventure away filled our cups in ways we didn’t know we needed, but are grateful to have gotten the chance to experience. 

We aren’t always able to afford big, extravagant excursions, but we make damn good use of the resources we have when on a budget. 

I cannot begin to express how important it is to make intentional time for moments and experiences of all kinds with your partner(s). 

There are so many places to explore, to be inspired by, to act on a whim, and to embrace some of those impulses. We are big fans of storytime and the best part is creating the stories for yourself!!

Tell us about some of your favorite ways to connect with your partner(s)! 

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Madam Stina Rae

The Ties That Bind Us is a spicy advice column written by Madam Stina Rae, an advocate and mentor in both the queer and kink communities and the co-owner of Atomic Threads Boutique (@atomicthreadsboutique). She can help give insight on your sex and relationship needs and curiosities. Is your poly triad in rough waters? Do you and your partners want to explore a more taboo experience? Do you just want help asking out that super cute human you’re sweet on? This space is a judgement free zone where you are welcome to ask some of the most personal questions with total anonymity.

read all of Madam stina rae’s articles here.

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